Officer: why were you swerving?
Me: um…
Officer: have you been drinking?
Me: no sir
Officer: so why were you swerving?
Me: I might have been sexting?
*officer starts laughing and walks back to his car*

Don’t sext and drive kids… it’s embarrassing

1 note

oomshi:

its ok if you don’t follow me on tumblr as long as you follow me into bed

(via succeeding)

120,507 notes

lovingvaldaya:

Robin Williams’ passing is a reminder that those who make us laugh the most are usually fighting the biggest demons.

(via fidemrestitutus)

162,125 notes
I’ve been hurt so bad and I still love so hard. I admire my heart for that. Alexandra Elle, Words from a Wanderer (via lilveganmami)

(Source: mourningmelody, via intricat3)

193,923 notes

moosejesus:

you know when you say something 

and it’s just 

why the fuck did i say that

(via succeeding)

198,160 notes

inbalanced:

that random moment when you suddenly remember someone who is no longer in your life and it feels like a knife through the chest

(via succeeding)

92,680 notes

tomkirk:

my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background

(via stand)

637,583 notes

aangnog:

masturbation is just having sex with the person you love the most

(Source: terrakion, via stand)

283,711 notes

rupsidaisy:

gay8:

fuck attractive people

that’s the plan

(Source: thisblogisnotgovernmentapproved, via relahvant)

1,318,492 notes